You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
