Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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