My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
