Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
