Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
