Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
