is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm too high and old for this...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
