addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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