I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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