angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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