He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
