i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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