guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
