NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
