Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
