think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
