wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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