I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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