But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
