my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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