i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
