2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
