White coat. Heels.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
True college students do jello shots in the library
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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