I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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