Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
