Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
