Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
