tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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