Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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