guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
