Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
