im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How does one acquire holy water?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm both gender and math confused
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
