to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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