We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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