I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
