We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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