I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
