The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
