so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
