as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
