i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just tell him i said nine months
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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