it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize