I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
