eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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