You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
