dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
