i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
