I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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