Where is the hickey?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
