it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
