Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
