I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
