so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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